CPLO Central Committee appeal to EU Workers!

 Dear foreign workers, our comrades!

 EU countries' governments are banning incandescent light bulbs. Perhaps you do not understand that this measure is aimed against Russian labourers - your class brothers.

 In Russia incandescent light bulbs are called Ilyich's bulbs, another name of Lenin, as Lenin gave bulbs to peasants and workers of Russia.

 Under pressure from EU ambitious Russian president is preparing a ban on incandescent light bulbs. Capitalists both in your countries and in Russia want us to forget Lenin's bulbs, they want us pay our last savings for expensive new-generation fluorescent bulbs made out of poisonous mercury and die from them, our children becoming mutants and zombies.

 We, Russian communists, address a plea to EU workers to foil our governments' vile plan! Luckily, no fluorescent bulbs are produced in Russia. Russian bourgeois president is waiting for shipments of poisonous mercury bulbs from Europe in order to smash and ban Lenin's bulbs once and for all, to hide them from the people. That's why we appeal to you, EU workers, calling for international solidarity.

 You must wreck those power-saving evil bulbs. Destroy assembly lines producing mercury fluorescent killer-bulbs. Cripple electronic equipment, machines and conveyors, soulless robots, producing those lamps.

 Do the same thing as heroic English pensioner Valerie Hemsley-Flint who has set up a warehouse of 1000 incandescent (Lenin's) bulbs at her own home. We, Russian communists, nominate English pensioner Valerie Hemsley-Flint as a candidate for Nobel Peace Prize for saving humanity from poisonous capitalist EU-Kremlin bulbs and preserving the memory of Lenin's bulbs.

COMRADES WORKERS! DESTROY POWER-SAVING FLUORESCENT KILLER-LAMPS!
POUR WATER AND ALCOHOL OVER COMPLEX MACHINES AND ASSEMBLY LINES WHICH PRODUCE COUNTER-REVOLUTIONARY ANTI-LENINIST BULBS!
PRESERVE INTERNATIONAL WORKER CLASS TREASURE - INCANDESCENT LIGHT BULB NAMED ILYICH'S AFTER LENIN!
PROLETARIANS OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE!

Comet Lulin granted communists with supermighty power

25.02.2009

At night our planet was approached by Comet Lulin. It was not an accident. Exactly at the height of capitalist system's world financial crisis progressive forces of the Universe might be signalling humanity: "Down with exploiters, time to overthrow appointees of Behind-the-Scenes Masters everywhere, it's necessary to hoist Red Labour Banner over the globe".

According to CP analysts, Lulin's two tails symbolise two progressive ideologies, Marxism and Leninism merged into one in October 1917.

Of course, bourgeois astronomers will make an attempt to trivially interpret comet's grand approach as a momentary sensation. But Left forces will not allow them to vulgarise the arrival of great Lulin, predicted by Stalin, Ho Chi Minh and by the leader of mysterious Nepalese communists Man Mohan Adhikari.

Invisible, yet deadly the rays of Lulin, breaking through NATO bases barrage fields and vile American spy satellites, will strike oppressors of Iraq, murderers of Miloshevich, Estonian Neo-fascists and enemies of Bolivian people.

Severe radiation of steep hipped messenger of red space will reduce to ashes millions of bucks Deripaska and Prokhorov hid in armoured strongboxes and bring Pentagon officials' psyche on the brink of madness. And on the contrary, omnipotent, flaming Lulin will surround Ilyich's Mausoleum, targeted by ursine White Guardists, with eternal protection.

Peterburg communists authoritatively announce that last night Lulin, acting as a grandiose bundle of will from proletarians across the Universe, passed on to us as well as to all other Earth communists over the distance a hitherto unseen impulse of resolve in struggle, of faith in socialism's victory, of ruthlessness to oppressors, imperialists, monarchs and to lacklustre basmachi.

Armed with Lulin's great power we vow to put Lenin's ideas into worldly life.

US MISSILE DEFENCE BASES POWERLESS AGAINST LULIN!

LONG LIVE THE AGONISING DEATH OF CAPITALISM!

UNIVERSE CHOSE LENIN!

Devious provocation of Estonian Secret Service

A member of CP Supervisory Commission, St.-Petersburg 1st Class Counsellor of State Alexander Saharov, voicing the party position, commented on the allegedly natural transition of a Russian island to Estonia caused by a flood:
It would be naive to assume that an island this big (4 hectares) with its valuable species of wood separated all by itself from Russian territory (Narvskoe Reservoir area), crossed state border and moved to a country allied with aggressive NATO bloc. Unlike some media, we are not so naive as to justify a full-scale seizure of Russian territory by natural disasters.

We are persuaded that the island's drift to Estonia is a result of a devious, insolent provocation of Estonian and Western secret services. This is elementary. By night a group of divers stealthily crawled under the island and installed equipment for its artificial migration or destroyed natural link between layer of soil and the bottom of the reservoir. They cut the binding cords with special diamond scissors.

NATO forces have long dreamt of having such a comfortable, such a strategically priceless bridgehead near Russian territory. We can only guess how many thousand dollars did Estonian spy agency spend on this move.

If Russia does not take adequate measures, soon just like that, cogs and bricks, spy-divers will drive more and more Russian islands abroad. Our authorities' nonchalance is striking! A character from Ivan Vasilievich Changes His Profession comes to mind: "Kemska region, take it, take it..." What an outrage!

In our opinion, it is necessary to strictly warn Estonia that such actions are intolerable and to enquire about all the details from NATO divers using glorious Russia underwater fleet. Russia must demand from Estonia that she admits a special committee to the stolen island, so that our specialists establish what mechanisms were used for this diversion and examine the island's territory for secret NATO military objects. We call for decisive and severe action.

Not an inch of Russian soil to NATO bloc.

What kind of items did Obama give to Kasparov and Nemtsov?

Secretaries of Leningrad Region Tosnenskiy and Kirovskiy districts' CPLO organisations demand Russian law-enforcement bodies to find out what kind of items did Obama with his suite pass to Western agents of influence Kasparov and Nemtsov during their meeting in a luxurious hotel:

Andrei Gindos, Production head, Tosnenskiy RC CP secretary:

What was in the bag, given to Kasparov by the Americans? Leaflets? Funds for creating black squads?! Radio transmitter codes? Information transfer container made to look like a stone? Maybe some refined food or licentious video tapes? Where were the chekists looking? It's no wonder that this sad excuse for a chess player is grinning from ear to ear now and dreaming of collapse of Russia.

Lyubov Kalashnitsina, a clerk, Lenregion Kirovskiy district RC CPLO secretary:

Nemtsov is horrible. Could he be a zombie, programmed by Obama to spread swine flu? In fact, it was a huge risk letting so many Americans into Russia when the epidemic is in full swing... Looking at the big picture, Obama could possibly give Nemtsov something like a plan on capturing Nizhniy Novgorod, which is known in great detail by this German, and an unconventional fire-enabled pen equipped with a laser sight. I doubt he gave him any money though, money takes up too much volume, but it's quite possible it was something like a diamond, so that Nemtsov can sell it afterwards. It appears, orange decadents' activisation will ensue.

There is no doubt, counter-intelligence agents had to search Kasparov and Nemtsov after their meeting with Obama, but they did not. Russia is in the Shadows.